So Good, So Sweet


There was a time in my life when I was sure Ethan was going to be an only child.

After a year and a half of trying to conceive and experiencing a devastating miscarriage in the middle of it all, I was told by my doctor that I was experiencing something called “Secondary Infertility”.

Why, when it was so easy to get pregnant with Ethan, was it now seemingly impossible to get pregnant again?

And why, after being so excited {and sick for weeks!} did I have to miscarry a baby that was wanted more than anything else in the world?

I yearned to be happy with the 1 son I did have.

Maybe he was a miracle, my miracle, and I needed to accept this blessing and love him with all I had.

I wanted to be ok with having a small family, but it wasn’t something I ever planned for, so the acceptance of this new way of thinking would take some time to get used to.

My heart ached.

The unknown felt suffocating.

Many days and nights were spent on my knees praying for patience, comfort and an understanding.

Tests were run, treatment plans were outlined and put into action. Not having a cause or reason for the failed attempts at conceiving was sometimes more frustrating than having a diagnosis.

But with the help of my great doctors, we finally welcomed our sweet little girl into our family.

I felt complete. And grateful.

So blessed, actually.

Now I had my little boy and my little girl.

How lucky was I?

I thanked my Heavenly Father every day for blessing me with all that I had.

I enjoyed {most} of the first year of my daughter’s life and just before her first birthday, I found myself back at the doctor. Look at the news we received:

I was pregnant. Again. Without even trying (and very much preventing!) How does that even happen?

Ok, so I know how it happens, but how does it happen to someone who struggles with infertility?

And to make this surprise even more of a crazy piece of news, I was already 3 months pregnant and due on my birthday.

I was ecstatic! I felt so grateful, so happy and maybe just a bit overwhelmed.

That sweet little baby would grow from this:

to this

to this:

He would be the hardest, crankiest baby I’ve ever had, but the sweetest little guy with a fun personality.

Anyone who has ever struggled with infertility or suffered the loss of a miscarriage can appreciate this great blessing- and not once did I look at this surprise as something other than what it truly was- a blessing.

Huge shock? Yes.

Easy adjustment? Heavens no!

But it was hands-down the happiest surprise I’ve ever experienced!

About Stephanie

Wife, mom of 5, preschool teacher, and creator of Somewhat Simple, Stephanie has a passion to create and inspire. She is an Orange County transplant who is now enjoying life in Phoenix, AZ. She enjoys traveling, shopping, organizing, cooking and creating simple projects for her home and family.

Comments

  1. Blessings indeed! I’ve struggled with secondary infertility since the birth of our daughter almost 25 years ago. While I underwent surgery for endometriosis, we were told at that time we had a very small window to become pregnant. We did but only to suffer a miscarriage very early, then again another pregnancy nearly 8 years later which they said was unheard of only for another miscarriage that was totally devastating and rocked my world. Now I am facing menopause, it is a double edged sword for me, betrayed by my body on so many levels. At the time infertility treatments were out of the question with a husband in the military that was deploying in a rather unusual fashion, a week here, two weeks there, to several months there was a “right” time to try to get something started. I virtually was a single mother most of our military career. I am blessed to have been a mother at least once in my life that’s for certain and I will never ever take that for granted. By far the biggest blessing for me has been the unexpected birth of our granddaughter 4 years ago. She currently lives with us and watching her grow up is a dream come true and a second chance for me. I’m loving it!

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    • Teri, thanks for this comment! Infertility is such a hard thing to go through. I am so glad you are able to see your granddaughter as a second chance at motherhood- what a blessing! She is a lucky girl to have someone as kind as you. {{{Hugs}}}

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  2. Thank you for sharing this today. My husband and I have struggled with infertility our entire marriage. It is because of the miracle of adoption that I am a mother to the most amazing little girl. She is almost 5 and I’ve wanted nothing more than to expand our family since she’s been old enough to walk. My heart breaks when I realize she may be an only child. It’s hard because I know how badly she wants a brother…she prays for one every night. What hurts the most is doctors have never pin pointed what our actual problem is and why we can’t conceive a child. I don’t think we will ever know. How thankful I am that I can wrap my beautiful little girl in my arms and tell her how much I love being her mommy. Children truly are a blessing sent straight from God when you least expect it!

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    • Hi Heather, my heart breaks when I hear stories of people dealing with infertility, especially when children start to wonder when/if they will become a big sister or brother. I wish having children wasn’t such a struggle sometimes, especially for good, kind people such as you. Here is to hoping your daughter gets her little brother soon! I wish you all the best!

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  3. you have truly been blessed. it was all in God’s plan and that was what was meant for your family!
    my husband and i tried so hard to have children and after several miscarriages lots of trying and hoping and praying the drs said i couldnt do it without medication. I went to see a hawaiian aunty and she lomi lomi massaged me and told me my womb was tilted. you know what i got pregnant the very next time my husband touched me. its been 3 years since my son was born and we have been trying again for some time with no luck. I think i have to go see aunty again :-)

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  4. God is so good!

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