I became a mom three and a half years ago on a chilly February evening when my husband placed my chubby, wide-eyed daughter in my arms. It was a day of abandoned plans, as everything I had pictured for nine months transformed on an operating room table. But in the end, she was healthy, I was healthy, we were together, and that’s what mattered.
The moment of becoming a mother is different for everyone. No two stories are the same, no two mothers are the same. Yet sometimes we find ourselves absorbed in a moment of motherhood judgement because we, as parents, don’t mother exactly the same.
It’s easy to watch each other, as moms, as parents, as women, and let judgmental thoughts creep in. And it’s just as easy to find ourselves on the receiving end of judgmental eyes. That’s why I love Similac’s Sisterhood of Motherhood and their goal to end the “mommy wars.”
This past week, Similac and the TODAY show parenting team hosted a Sisterhood of Motherhood Roundtable event in New York City’s Rainbow Room in an effort to bring more light to this issue of mommy judgement. So as women from all walks of life: bloggers, editors, public figures, mothers, we ate breakfast and we talked, all in an effort to understand the mommy wars.
The panel included sisters, Hilary and Haylie Duff, TODAY’s Sheinelle Jones and Jenna Wolfe, TODAY Parenting Team editor Rebecca Dube, and psychologist and author, Dr. Shefali Tsabary.
The discussion started right off and I loved what Hilary had to say, speaking about where mom judgement comes from. “I think it starts in a good place, every mother wants to be the best mother that they can be, so when they share something as a friend sometimes it just comes off too aggressive. What works for me doesn’t necessarily work for [you].” Our children are all unique little people with their own personalities and those differences call for different parenting techniques. As a parent you know your babies best. What works for your sister, your best friend, or your neighbor down the street, might not be the best approach for your family and your home.
So where does this mom judgement come from? Dr Tsabary explained that from her perspective, “We were all raised on a heavy diet of not feeling fully worthy from within… we grew up feeling like we needed to get approval from everyone else and this is what we are doing with the motherhood journey — we are trying to get approval for our mothering from the exterior world.” She explains, “Our children need our presence. Ipad, organic, non-gmo, it doesn’t matter! They don’t care about that! Our children need us to be fully present to them and we can only be that when are fully present to ourselves.”
It’s time as mothers that we start to see each other for our best intentions, recognize that as much as we wish we did, we don’t have all the answers, and at the end of the day what matters most is loving our children and doing the best we can. None of us are perfect. We all struggle. So instead of passing judgement, let’s resolve to support each other in the thick and thin of this unique motherhood journey.
For more on the mommy wars be sure to check out the trailer for Similac’s #EndMommyWars Documentary.
All Photos are courtesy of NBC TODAY at the Rainbow Room
This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Similac. All opinions in this post are my own and are 100% genuine. Thank you for supporting our sponsors so we can continue to provide creative content to SomewhatSimple.