I still laugh when I think about my first Valentine’s Day being married. When I was engaged, I must have told my roommates that I really wished he had bought me flowers even just once during our courtship, because when he asked for their advice on my birthday, my wonderful friends told him, “Just get the girl some flowers!”
He then excitedly responded, “I’m already planning on it! My friend taught me how to make these really cool flowers out of construction paper.” My good friends were quick to say, “I think she would prefer real flowers.”
So on my birthday, he showed up with ONE cute little daisy in his hand. It wasn’t a bouquet, but it was progress, so I sincerely thanked him for the kindness.
Years later, I wonder why I even cared. However, that first Valentine’s Day being married I KNEW he would show up with another daisy if I didn’t specify that I wanted a full bouquet of flowers. So I did. I felt silly, but I did it anyways. I said, “honey, do you know what would be really fun to get? A full bouquet of flowers!”
So he took my advice and on Valentine’s morning, he walks into the kitchen with a daisy and two roses, that he crafted into his own little manly bouquet. Again, it was progress…..so I smiled and thanked him for his kindness. Later in the day when he opened my gift to him (a pair of TOMS brand shoes that he had been talking about), he kindly thanked me. A few minutes later he said, “Would you be offended if I took the shoes back and traded them for a different color?” I laughed and said “Of course not! Would you be offended if I picked out my own bouquet of flowers?”
We both laughed as he walked into the mall to exchange his shoes, and I walked into the grocery store to pick out a big beautiful bouquet of flowers.
This is such a crazy story, but it’s the reason we decided to change how we celebrate Valentine’s Day (as well as Christmas and our Anniversary).
How to Have the BEST Valentines Day
Valentine’s Day should be about celebrating your love for each other, not feeling let down because your spouse failed to meet your expectations. I hear this so often (mostly from women): “He didn’t even remember!”
If it makes you feel better, I asked my husband when Valentine’s Day is, and he said “Isn’t it different each year?” 🙂
When it comes to Valentine’s Day, we now plan it together. There’s no anxious anticipation to see if the other remembered, but instead, we remind each other ahead of time and ask “what should we do this year?!” And trust me, it’s WAY MORE FUN this way. We also do this with our anniversary. We plan what we are going to do together to make the day special. There are no expectations, just really fun plans! And when we are both putting our brains together to make plans, everything works out perfectly. Sometimes we even just stay at home and snuggle on the couch and watch a movie because we both feel like keeping our plans “chill.”
This doesn’t mean we don’t ever surprise each other with something fun, it’s just not expected. At all. So when it happens, it’s a bonus.
Don’t leave your plans to chance! Life is what you make of it, so make it awesome!
And speaking of Valentine’s Day, here’s a free printable for you! Just add rootbeer (because life should be somewhat simple).