Regardless of what the world wants you to believe, guys are not worthless. They are not mean-spirited, lazy and stupid. We need to teach our boys that they are amazing and have tremendous value. We need to encourage them to reach their full potential! Here is how –
The Demise of Guys
I recently read the book entitled, “The Demise of Guys” and was totally shocked at the statistics reinforcing what I instinctively already knew in my head. As the author put it – “Guys are flaming out.” Crashing and burning. Biting the dust.
So why are guys going down in flames?
Well, there are a number of contributing factors, but the two biggest reasons fit into the same category: technology. Specifically, video games and online pornography.
Here are a couple alarming statistics –
- The average young person will spend 10,000 hours gaming by age 21. The author put this in context when he stated that it takes the average college student only half that time – 4,800 hours – to earn a bachelor’s degree. With so many boys running around now with a gaming device in their front pocket, I’m not really that surprised. Every time there is a spare minute, out comes the video game and the time wasting begins.
- One in three boys is now considered a “heavy” porn user, viewing nearly two hours of porn every week. The pornography business is picking up speed at a staggering rate and destroying guys left and right as it barrels down the tracks. Worldwide, pornography is almost a 100 billion dollar industry. This filth is peddled to anyone that will take a look, with the hope that they will take another look and yet another until they are stuck in an addictive cycle that destroys their ability to have normal interactions with others, especially those of the opposite sex.
How to Raise Boys the Right Way
I for one, am not letting my boys (ages 15, 10, 8 and almost 6) “flame out”. Nope… over my dead body is that going to happen. And as disheartening as these statistics may be… take courage, I have two simple solutions to consider:
1. Boys need more to do.
They need to be given more responsibility earlier on in life. Give them some jobs around the house. It’s hard to game or get in trouble on spend so much time on the internet while you have a lawn mower or a paintbrush in your hand! Have them get off the couch or come out of their room, where they are more than likely gaming in seclusion, and do something productive. They might cuss you under their breath when they are younger but I believe they will praise your name later in life. The men that have my respect are real men that know how to work hard.
2. Boys need goals.
They need a clear vision of what they could or should be doing with their time. If they aren’t gaming so much or looking at porn, that leaves a lot of time to do something worthwhile. So sit down with your son, nephew, friend and help open their eyes to the many other meaningful things that they could be doing with their time. Read good books, learn how to play an instrument or learn a new language. Get interested in a hobby like hunting or fishing, or enroll them in some other organized sport. Maybe it’s weight lifting or running or mountain biking.
Help them set some financial goals and teach them how to make good financial decisions. Help them understand that good things come to those that wait. Maybe it’s saving up for the car they might be dreaming of when they get into High School.
As they set some goals and then make the effort to achieve those goals they will have an increased sense of self worth. If we can keep them out of this technology trap, they are going to do better in school, have better social skills, be more self-motivated, learn how to work and make good money decisions. All in all, they are going to be more pleasant to be around.
. . . . .
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not saying to go on complete and total technology lock down. Don’t freak out and pile up the iPhones and start a bon-fire or anything. These little gadgets are totally amazing if used for the right purposes. We just need to make sure that these guys that we are raising are given some guidance and encouragement. Good luck!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR – Gregg Murset is the Founder of www.myjobchart.com and father of 4 boys and 2 girls.